Turn The Tables on Negative People

Negative people are burdened with various lusts and issues that they are either not dealing with or are using to influence and control their relationship with you.

They might cause stress, scandals, struggles, or conflicts. You may experience repeated violations of your boundaries, such as manipulation, verbal abuse, or physical, emotional, or spiritual harm. Spending time with them can leave you feeling drained and fatigued.

You probably know more than your fair share of negative people! Since they are everywhere, it is important to understand how to live with them.

Dealing with troublesome individuals who disrupt our lives is covered in many Scriptures.

In 1 Corinthians 15:33, the Apostle Paul urges us, “Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners.’”

In Proverbs 22:24-25, we are warned, “Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”

Negative people can have an impact on your attitude and your day. But that does not have to be the case. There are ways to lessen the effect that negative people have on you.

You must keep a Truth Mindset!

Strategies to avoid allowing negative people to impact your life:

• Try not to view them as just a negative person but as a fellow creation of God, a sibling, caught in a sinful habit.

• Your perspective is critical to handling the person as Jesus desires.

Galatians 6:1 - "Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted."

• To persuade others to adopt an optimistic outlook, it is crucial to first rid oneself of any negative thoughts or attitudes. By doing so, you can lead by example and demonstrate the benefits of a positive mindset. Before approaching the negative sibling, determine, through prayer and counsel, if you have faults to address.

Matthew 7:3 - "And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?"

• Understand that you can only control yourself, but you can influence others. You cannot snap your fingers and make the people around you take a more positive view of the world. But you can control yourself and how you react to their negativity.
• You might even be able to sway people over to your thinking. Set a good example and be a positive influence on those around you.

Matthew 5:16 – “Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.”

• Accept people for who they are.

Romans 15:7 – “Wherefore receive ye one another, as Christ also received us to the glory of God.”

• Be grateful. One way to maintain a positive attitude is to remind yourself of the positive. When you feel run down by the negativity around you, make a quick mental list of the things you are thankful for. It will give your mood a quick boost. This will help you walk in love with the negative person and lovingly handle the issue.

Psalms 118:1-18 – “O give thanks unto the LORD; for he is good: because his mercy endureth for ever.”

• Remember that it is not about you. Everyone has their challenges and issues. There is no reason to be upset if someone has a negative attitude. It likely does not have anything to do with you at all. It could be circumstances in their life or their basic nature. Sometimes, they are negative because of a personality disorder. Other times, they are going through a depressing season of life, such as a divorce, death, mental health crisis, or job loss, and not dealing with it well. Perhaps they are consumed with insecurity, envy, ambition, greed, or anger. Just keep on doing what you are doing. Negative siblings are very much in need of grace, just like us. As Christians, we carry the world's hope (see Colossians 1:27), and we have the power to reach out to them. Pray for wisdom and for God to reveal what to do next.

Acts 20:35 - "I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive."

• You have the choice to be positive or negative. You can choose to be affected or not by the people around you. The power of positive thinking for the believer is rooted in what we believe about God and His word. There may be something within you, such as a mindset or assumption, that is making it more difficult. By surrendering this internal obstacle to a higher power and allowing God to work within you, you may find that coping with negativity becomes less of a burden and more manageable.

Philippians 4:8 – “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”

• Speak up. Sometimes, telling people just to cut it out can be helpful. Many people will push until someone calls them on their behavior. Have a frank talk with someone who is perpetually negative. Maybe they are not aware of the impact they are having on others. Humility, prayer, wise counsel, and tact are great assets in successfully speaking with a negative sibling. It takes effort to train the mind to lean towards hope amid suffering, yet it is worth it when the fruit of godliness springs up within our souls.

Colossians 3:16 – “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”

• Spend time with positive people. Recharge your batteries with the positive energy of other positive people. Every woman needs to find a core of people who can encourage them to walk closer to Christ, to believe in themselves in Christ, and who genuinely care about their best interests. Get away from those negative people and spend time with people full of positive attitudes. When you surround yourself with the right people, it does not take long to recenter yourself.

Proverbs 13:20-21 - "He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. Evil pursueth sinners: but to the righteous good shall be repayed."

• Make the most of your time alone. Make the most of the time you have to yourself. Do things you enjoy doing. Read positive affirmations. Watch feel-good movies. Put your attention on positivity. It can be like armor against negative people.

1 Peter 5:7 - "Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."

• Headphones can be your friend. If the situation permits, put on some headphones or earbuds. What you cannot hear cannot bother you. Consider listening to a positive podcast or music that makes you feel good. If your work situation allows this, it would be silly not to take advantage of it.

1 John 4:5-6 - "They are of the world: therefore speak they of the world, and the world heareth them.We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us; he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error."

• Stay away. There are plenty of people in your life that are optional. Stay away from negative people that you do not have to associate with. You have some control over who is in your life and who is not. While we stay away to avoid being influenced, we keep praying for and hoping for their salvation in Christ. Sometimes, stepping back and letting God deal with the people you cannot is wise.

2 Thessalonians 3:14 - "And if any man obey not our word by this epistle, note that man, and have no company with him, that he may be ashamed."

It is paramount to stress that if an individual is experiencing constant and profound feelings of discontent, it is advisable to urge them to seek counseling or other professional assistance. It is important to note that clinical depression is a medical condition that requires the attention of a trained therapist and potential medical intervention.

Those affected by clinical depression may experience a range of symptoms, such as a persistent low mood, a lack of interest in activities, changes in appetite and sleeping patterns, and feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Seeking professional support is crucial in helping individuals manage their symptoms and work towards recovery.

But if negativity is a habitual attitude rather than illness, try these strategies to help lead the negative sibling toward a more positive view of things. 

If the negative person in your life is abusive in any way, that is a different story. Abuse is illegal. It is dangerous and is never permissible. Loving them might look like forgiveness, and moving on might be far away from them.

If you are in an abusive relationship of any kind, I urge you to reach out for help, whether from law enforcement or an organization such as the National Domestic Violence Hotline - 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).