Simple Ways to Talk to the Strangers Who Matter

Our whole childhoods we were told to never speak to strangers. Then as we grow up, we discover that we need to do just that, again and again. A few strangers are easier to talk to than others, like a shop clerk or server in a restaurant.

Others are often more complicated, like strangers you meet in social situations or business meetings. These are strangers who have the potential to be future friends, coworkers, bosses, and clients. These are strangers who matter to you. To some women, meeting these types of strangers can be very daunting.

How do women get past the initial trepidation and talk to strangers?

• Dive in the Deep-End

When you always have someone to fall back on, you will never truly take the plunge. Go to new places alone, so you are not tempted to stick with who you already know.

• Make the First Move

If you are going to wait around expecting to get noticed, you may possibly have a very long wait. Be courageous! Start a discussion! Get up and join the fun instead of waiting for the invitation.

• Remember Give and Take

Ask a question. Get the ball rolling by finding out details about new people that you get to know. But also, be willing to talk about yourself (though, not excessively). Good conversation should have an ebb and flow. Do not allow it to get too heavily bogged down in any way.

• Learn to Be Sociable

While starting conversations, understand when to back off before you become too assertive. Not everyone will want to talk. When this is the case, let them go. There are plenty of other people to talk to in social or business gatherings. Move along to somebody else.

• Be the Genuine You

There is nothing more powerful than a woman who comes across as genuine. Being authentic is one hundred times better than any role you could ever play. This means being you without pretense. If you are nervous, it is okay. You can even say something about your nerves or make it into a joke. You would be surprised at how many others relate to these feelings.

• Know How to Leave

When discussions come to an end, or communication is not going well, know how to break away. An “I need” statement is a big help (as in “Excuse me, I need to call the sitter.” or “I need to talk to that man over there about something, please excuse me.” Or just thank them for the conversation and move on. “I loved talking to you about Hawaii. Thank you for the conversation.” If you like the person you are talking to, get their card, or make plans to get together again before you go.

“God never told you to impress people; only to love them.” - Dave Willis

With that thought in mind, wouldn’t you say it is time to set forth and make some new friends?